My Mother

drawing by Ali Noel Vyain

What is there to say about my mother Ramadom? She cared for my three brothers and me when we were kittens. Then without any warning, she left us on our own. I don’t understand. I thought she loved us. But she wouldn’t stay with us. It was abandonment. After I’ve lived as long as I have, I still don’t understand.

She didn’t even say goodbye. She just left and never came back to look after us. How could she to that to us? Then we discovered her living across the street. We lived near the end of a cul-de-sac. Whenever Spitter and I saw her, we hissed at her to let her know how much we were upset by her abandonment of us.

She should have said something. Anything would have been better than her just leaving without any warning. Oh, just thinking about her makes me so mad. Why couldn’t she have given us warning that she would be leaving us on our own? That’s the part I don’t get. She just left us behind in the woodpile.

I’ve been picking up the pieces since she left. I suppose it’s time to let go of this pain, but it’s hard. I guess I want to make sense out of everything. Yet, I can’t. Is this how life truly is? Things go well for just a short time and then tragedy strikes without any warning.

Perhaps it’s just me. But I wish my mother had never left us as she did. I would have been much happier with her if she had told us it was time for us to be on our own. Then we could have visited her from time to time. Instead, she just left and never cared what became of us after she was done taking care of us.

I suppose it’s normal for us cats to let kittens grow up and go on their own when they no longer need someone else to look after them. But it doesn’t always happen that way. We do grow up and become more independent, but we can also maintain relationships with our mothers when we’re older. Isn’t that what humans do?

I did talk to my girl about a lot of different things that bothered me. But we never talked about my mother Ramadom. I don’t know why. I guess we were more focused on living together and getting along. My girl knew I didn’t like my mother. My girl may not have known or understood why. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s starting to understand now. She is quite clever and sees the world in an unusual way than others I have known in my life. I admit that I don’t always understand some things she tells me because she says them in a unique way. I do hope she has gained wisdom as I’m sure I have.

I just don’t know if I will ever be able to understand. I do like my independence, but does that mean I have to give up having a relationship with my own mother too? That’s not a good choice to have to make. Well, technically she made it for me. I had no choice in the matter.

I still wish things with my mother could have been different. I loved her as a kitten. I still love her now, even though she refused to have anything to do with me after I grew up. It would have been great if Spitter and I could have visited her from time to time and just had some good chats. She would have been a friend who lived in the same neighborhood.

Am I asking for too much from her?

She was sweet. She was loving. She was beautiful. She was there from before we were born. She took good care of us. She taught us how to be good upstanding cats. Then she was gone without any warning. Why? Why? Why?

She could have kissed us goodbye and let us know it was time for us to be on our own. She could have told us she was going to her home across the street. So, why didn’t she tell us?

Why did she just leave and not ever come back? She didn’t even care whenever Spitter and I hissed at her. She just ignored us. She acted as if we were complete strangers not worth her notice. She never paid any attention to us after she had abandoned us.

That was that, I suppose. At least my girl took me in and never got rid of me. I would have preferred to stay in the same home for the rest of my life, but at least my girl never abandoned me. She took me in and that was that. She always took care of me better than my mother had. Some humans even called my girl my mother.

Well, she is my girl. Not my mother. My girl was better than my mother. I’m glad my girl came and met me when she did. That whirlwind changed my life forever and taught me love can last forever. Sometimes it doesn’t always last from your family for many reasons. But then you can find friends later on who will stand by you no matter what.

So, I was proud to have her as my girl. I never minded her calling me her cat. At least she understood she didn’t own me. Nor did she ever treat me as a piece of property. I am a person to her. I always was and always will be.

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